CHEMO STINKS

It's been a trying and busy month since I last wrote. Just dealing with chemo, a cold, throwing up (I think I overdid it on some vicodin), but also visits from my sisters, a Phase IV fauxhawk (I will post pictures soon) and a lovely change in the weather. Spring is here and I am happy for it, though it makes me want next year to be here soon so I can enjoy weekends outside, a cold beer, a Spring Training game, a trip abroad...things I just can't do right now.

Last weekend I completed my FIFTH chemo treatment. How do I put this? Oh, I know...I HATE CHEMO! It is not a fun experience. What makes it so bad is the smell. It's hard to explain, but when you have chemicals coursing through your system, you SMELL them. You smell them and they make you nauseous. You smell them in your mouth, on your breath, through your skin and in your pee. The smell is like you have your head stuck in a bucket of markers with their caps off. Chemicals.


I learned to chew piece after piece of gum while getting chemo and for the days following. I learned to spray air freshener BEFORE I pee so I smell "fresh linens" and not the stench of chemo in the toilet. I learned to spritz perfume on my sheets and slather on good smelling lotion before I sleep. My dad brought me Vick's Vapo Rub to help when I got a cold two weekends ago...I crammed that up my nose so I smelled that instead of chemo.

About the cold...two weekends ago, March 6th to be exact, I woke up with a cold. Mind you, this was the weekend after my 4th treatment and just four days after my Neulasta shot. So the whole week leading up to the cold was a tough one. My sister, Alethea, was in town and helped me through my first vomiting experience since starting treatment. The Tuesday night before my cold I was hurting pretty bad from the Neulasta. This is the uber-expensive shot I get to encourage my bones to create more white blood cells (WBCs) so that I can keep on my 2-week treatment cycles. So, I took two vicodin before bed to kill the pain (Neulasta makes you feel like your body's been tumbled through a dryer, or better said, hit by a car). Anyway, it must have been too much or my stomach was too empty because I did not tolerate it well. I couldn't sleep (the room was spinning) and so I ended up throwing up twice, just lemon water that Alethea gave me. I learned from this experience that if you have dry heaves, a glass of water with fresh lemon wedges and lemon juice in it is quite refreshing on its way out - no acid sting at all! I was so glad Alethea was here to help me. Poor thing had to leave that Wednesday morning to go back to Virginia. She didn't get much rest that night either.

So Wednesday was rough. Alethea left around 8am and I went into work at noon after not much sleep and did my thing. Then I went home and rested. Thursday and Friday I worked, but was extremely tired. Exhausted really. I'll mention it now, though this may be too much information for some of you, but this chemo apparently has an effect on my reproductive health. I had a marathon 13-day period that I thought surely made me anemic. So, by the time Saturday morning rolled around I was done for. I had a cold and zero energy so I wasn't able to make it to my boss's baby shower or my massage appointment or to church and instead spent my weekend in bed or on the couch watching movies. My dad visited and brought me his cold remedy of choice, Vick's Vapo Rub, and a bottle of Flintstones so I could clear my congested sinuses and load up on iron.

THANKFULLY, I recovered from my cold in a standard time period - for me it usually takes five to seven days. So I suppose that stupid Neulasta worked (though I still don't like having to take it - not only is it ridiculously priced and hurts like hell, but it can rupture my spleen!). Anyway, after my marathon period and cold I thought for certain my pre-chemo bloodwork for my fifth treatment would not pass muster. I told myself I would be happy either way: if my blood counts were too low I would be happy for the break, if they were good enough and I was able to get chemo at least I got another treatment out of the way.

So, this past Friday I went to my doctor's office where Russ, "the blood guy," poked my finger and collected my blood for review. I met with Dr. Saeed for our visit. She asked how I was feeling, I complained about Neulasta and all the things I complained about above, and then she read the results of the blood work. "You're good for chemo today." "Really?!" I was shocked and truthfully, a little disappointed. I really wanted to not have to have chemo.

So, my mom and I went to the hospital where I got my 5th treatment. Oh, you don't know about the hospital part...well, in brief, it works out better insurance-wise for me to visit my doctor and get my bloodwork done in her office and THEN go to the hospital to get chemo. It's all about the semantics, and wording and physical location of where the treatment happens. Whatever. I am done, hopefully for the course of this experience, worrying about what the insurance will and won't cover. Bill me later, bill me later, bill me later...

So, I checked in at the hospital, the chemo order was placed at the hospital's pharmacy and then we waited - about THREE HOURS - until the chemo was ready. Then the chemo took another two hours to administer. While it was going on, I spoke with a Hispanic woman, I believe she was from Guatemala, about her breast cancer. Our conversation was in Spanish and I would give myself a C+ on my performance. Nevertheless, it was awesome to see that this woman was a believer, telling me to put this into God's hands. I smiled and let her know that I knew what she was talking about. I told her I would pray for her, and she told me she'd pray for me. She also told me I should cut my hair shorter since, as it falls out, it's easier to clean up shorter hairs than longer ones. Good advice, and it was true.

Friday night, about an hour after my mom dropped me off from chemo, my friend Priscilla came over and we completed Phase 4 of the hair. We hadn't planned a 4th phase, but my hair, while it is shedding, has hung on for quite a while now. So, we did a little fauxhawk, short on the sides and a little longer down the middle. She also colored it. It's pretty cute. Not something I would choose for myself in my healthier days, but for now, it's still not bald so I am OK with it.

Funny thing about losing hair...your scalp hurts. There's a slight sting going on, even as I type this. Now, I can empathize with men regarding hair loss. Why, that's another benefit of cancer! Who knew? (God, I suppose).

Anyway, you're pretty much all caught up. This weekend is my chemo-FREE weekend! So I am packing it with activity. Oil change; emissions test; lunch with GMa, Mom and Bob; massage; church and housework.

I haven't just learned to cram Vick's up my nose to avoid the smell of chemo throughout this experience, though that is an important thing to learn. I have learned to enjoy my good days. To relax when I need to and to get done today what I can because maybe tomorrow I won't feel good enough to. I have learned to appreciate my chemo-FREE weekends. When this is over, all my weekends will be chemo-FREE so I hope my appreciation for them won't fade.


PRAYER REQUESTS
Pray for me that my attitude toward chemo improves. I HATE it, that's true, but it's also necessary right now.

Pray that miraculously, the smell will go away or won't bother me. Maybe between now and next Friday someone will figure out how to inject the chemo with a little peppermint scent! That would be LOVELY!

Pray that after my 8th treatment, when I get my PET Scan to see how the cancer is responding that this is GONE. Because if it's gone that means just four more treatments.


Thanks for reading, y'all.

Gnite!
T